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xkcd Phone

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Presented in partnership with Qualcomm, Craigslist, Whirlpool, Hostess, LifeStyles, and the US Chamber of Commerce. Manufactured on equipment which also processes peanuts. Price includes 2-year Knicks contract. Phone may extinguish nearby birthday candles. If phone ships with Siri, return immediately; do not speak to her and ignore any instructions she gives. Do not remove lead casing. Phone may attract/trap insects; this is normal. Volume adjustable (requires root). If you experience sudden tingling, nausea, or vomiting, perform a factory reset immediately. Do not submerge in water; phone will drown. Exterior may be frictionless. Prolonged use can cause mood swings, short-term memory loss, and seizures. Avert eyes while replacing battery. Under certain circumstances, wireless transmitter may control God.
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marcy
2753 days ago
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8 public comments
petrilli
2769 days ago
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I want my phone to scream when I drop it.
Arlington, VA
jepler
2769 days ago
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I so want the "alternate speed of light" feature.
Earth, Sol system, Western spiral arm
amijangos
2769 days ago
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Love the side facing camara!
Columbus, Indiana
rraszews
2769 days ago
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Warning: Do not taunt the Happy Fun xkcd Phone
Columbia, MD
Brstrk
2769 days ago
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Yeah, but how long does the battery last?
JayM
2769 days ago
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.
Atlanta, GA
[deleted]
2769 days ago
??
SmartManne
2770 days ago
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Oh God...
Natchez, Mississippi
rohitt
2769 days ago
Won't help. "Under certain circumstances, wireless transmitter may control God"
srsly
2770 days ago
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Alt Text

"Presented in partnership with Qualcomm, Craigslist, Whirlpool, Hostess, LifeStyles, and the US Chamber of Commerce. Manufactured on equipment which also processes peanuts. Price includes 2-year Knicks contract. Phone may extinguish nearby birthday candles. If phone ships with Siri, return immediately; do not speak to her and ignore any instructions she gives. Do not remove lead casing. Phone may attract/trap insects; this is normal. Volume adjustable (requires root). If you experience sudden tingling, nausea, or vomiting, perform a factory reset immediately. Do not submerge in water; phone will drown. Exterior may be frictionless. Prolonged use can cause mood swings, short-term memory loss, and seizures. Avert eyes while replacing battery. Under certain circumstances, wireless transmitter may control God."
Atlanta, Georgia
republicson
2769 days ago
Bwaa haaa!
ridingsloth
2769 days ago
Why isn't there already an app that makes my phone scream when I drop it?
[deleted]
2769 days ago
@ridingsloth... i'd buy that app!