1 story
·
0 followers

xkcd Phone

8 Comments and 21 Shares
Presented in partnership with Qualcomm, Craigslist, Whirlpool, Hostess, LifeStyles, and the US Chamber of Commerce. Manufactured on equipment which also processes peanuts. Price includes 2-year Knicks contract. Phone may extinguish nearby birthday candles. If phone ships with Siri, return immediately; do not speak to her and ignore any instructions she gives. Do not remove lead casing. Phone may attract/trap insects; this is normal. Volume adjustable (requires root). If you experience sudden tingling, nausea, or vomiting, perform a factory reset immediately. Do not submerge in water; phone will drown. Exterior may be frictionless. Prolonged use can cause mood swings, short-term memory loss, and seizures. Avert eyes while replacing battery. Under certain circumstances, wireless transmitter may control God.
Read the whole story
marcy
3688 days ago
reply
Share this story
Delete
8 public comments
petrilli
3704 days ago
reply
I want my phone to scream when I drop it.
Arlington, VA
jepler
3704 days ago
reply
I so want the "alternate speed of light" feature.
Earth, Sol system, Western spiral arm
amijangos
3704 days ago
reply
Love the side facing camara!
Columbus, Indiana
rraszews
3704 days ago
reply
Warning: Do not taunt the Happy Fun xkcd Phone
Columbia, MD
Brstrk
3704 days ago
reply
Yeah, but how long does the battery last?
JayM
3704 days ago
reply
.
Atlanta, GA
[deleted]
3704 days ago
??
SmartManne
3704 days ago
reply
Oh God...
Natchez, Mississippi
rohitt
3704 days ago
Won't help. "Under certain circumstances, wireless transmitter may control God"
srsly
3705 days ago
reply
Alt Text

"Presented in partnership with Qualcomm, Craigslist, Whirlpool, Hostess, LifeStyles, and the US Chamber of Commerce. Manufactured on equipment which also processes peanuts. Price includes 2-year Knicks contract. Phone may extinguish nearby birthday candles. If phone ships with Siri, return immediately; do not speak to her and ignore any instructions she gives. Do not remove lead casing. Phone may attract/trap insects; this is normal. Volume adjustable (requires root). If you experience sudden tingling, nausea, or vomiting, perform a factory reset immediately. Do not submerge in water; phone will drown. Exterior may be frictionless. Prolonged use can cause mood swings, short-term memory loss, and seizures. Avert eyes while replacing battery. Under certain circumstances, wireless transmitter may control God."
Atlanta, Georgia
republicson
3704 days ago
Bwaa haaa!
ridingsloth
3704 days ago
Why isn't there already an app that makes my phone scream when I drop it?
[deleted]
3704 days ago
@ridingsloth... i'd buy that app!