1 story
·
0 followers

xkcd Phone

8 Comments and 21 Shares
Presented in partnership with Qualcomm, Craigslist, Whirlpool, Hostess, LifeStyles, and the US Chamber of Commerce. Manufactured on equipment which also processes peanuts. Price includes 2-year Knicks contract. Phone may extinguish nearby birthday candles. If phone ships with Siri, return immediately; do not speak to her and ignore any instructions she gives. Do not remove lead casing. Phone may attract/trap insects; this is normal. Volume adjustable (requires root). If you experience sudden tingling, nausea, or vomiting, perform a factory reset immediately. Do not submerge in water; phone will drown. Exterior may be frictionless. Prolonged use can cause mood swings, short-term memory loss, and seizures. Avert eyes while replacing battery. Under certain circumstances, wireless transmitter may control God.
Read the whole story
marcy
3995 days ago
reply
Share this story
Delete
8 public comments
petrilli
4011 days ago
reply
I want my phone to scream when I drop it.
Arlington, VA
jepler
4011 days ago
reply
I so want the "alternate speed of light" feature.
Earth, Sol system, Western spiral arm
amijangos
4011 days ago
reply
Love the side facing camara!
Columbus, Indiana
rraszews
4011 days ago
reply
Warning: Do not taunt the Happy Fun xkcd Phone
Columbia, MD
Brstrk
4011 days ago
reply
Yeah, but how long does the battery last?
JayM
4011 days ago
reply
.
Atlanta, GA
[deleted]
4011 days ago
??
SmartManne
4011 days ago
reply
Oh God...
rohitt
4011 days ago
Won't help. "Under certain circumstances, wireless transmitter may control God"
srsly
4012 days ago
reply
Alt Text

"Presented in partnership with Qualcomm, Craigslist, Whirlpool, Hostess, LifeStyles, and the US Chamber of Commerce. Manufactured on equipment which also processes peanuts. Price includes 2-year Knicks contract. Phone may extinguish nearby birthday candles. If phone ships with Siri, return immediately; do not speak to her and ignore any instructions she gives. Do not remove lead casing. Phone may attract/trap insects; this is normal. Volume adjustable (requires root). If you experience sudden tingling, nausea, or vomiting, perform a factory reset immediately. Do not submerge in water; phone will drown. Exterior may be frictionless. Prolonged use can cause mood swings, short-term memory loss, and seizures. Avert eyes while replacing battery. Under certain circumstances, wireless transmitter may control God."
Atlanta, Georgia
republicson
4011 days ago
Bwaa haaa!
ridingsloth
4011 days ago
Why isn't there already an app that makes my phone scream when I drop it?
[deleted]
4011 days ago
@ridingsloth... i'd buy that app!